A Day at Godric's Hollow
by LovinLupin46
Summary: What happens when Ron, Harry, and Hermione go to visit Godric's Hollow and it is the beginning of Ron and Hermione's relationship? MANY SHENNANIGANS! Poor Harry. The story is supposed to be stupid, don't come in here looking for some deep reading.Edit: Si


Disclaimer: I own none of these characters. It all belongs to J.K. Rowling. I just like to fool around with it.

Harry Potter was at Godric's Hollow. It was nice here. He liked it. Harry Potter's stomach was a-grumbling when he decided to go pick something up at Wizard  
Food Yum. He walked inside. It was nice and cool in here. He bought a piece of celery for himself, an apple for Hermione, and cookies for Ron. He walked slowly back to the house savoring the feelings of being around the town his parents had once lived. And what a wonderful feeling it was! Nothing could ruin his good mood! He felt FABULOUS! Harry Potter sniffed in the smells of weeds and decay around his parent's house. Ron and Hermione had gone inside to explore. Ron had chuckled when he said this. Harry hoped he hadn't played any mean tricks on Hermione. That wouldn't be very nice. Harry opened the front door and walked inside, looking around the deserted house. No Ron and Hermione here! Where did those rascals go?

"RON! HERMIONE!" Harry yelled up the stairs. "I HAVE APPLES AND   
COOKIES!"   
"OH YEAH!" he heard Ron exclaim from somewhere upstairs.

Harry was glad to hear Ron was so excited about the cookies. If he was this happy now, wait until he saw that they were chocolate chip! Smiling, Harry walked up the stairs. As Harry walked towards the room he also heard Hermione yelling something, she sounded happy so Harry figured she must want her apples. They hadn't eaten in a while so it was understandable. Harry decided to play a trick on his friends. He took out two round cookies and put them on his eyes and put an apple on his head. He chuckled to himself. He must look spooky!  
Harry swung the door open and jumped in "ARGGGGGGGGGH!" he yelled.

He couldn't wait to take those cookies off his eyes and see his friends expressions! Smiling, Harry removed the cookies. What was this? Hm. They sure looked different! Where did there clothes go? Why were they so flushed? DID A MONSTER COME?

"Hey guys-what are you doing?"  
Hermione screamed, "Get out Harry!"  
"Bugger mate, what are you doing?" Ron asked looking shocked.  
Harry looked at them closer. Why was Ron on top of Hermione like that? Why were they so angry? And then it dawned on him...THERE WAS NO MONSTER.

"Oh, oh my!" Harry took a step back; the apple fell of his head.   
"GET OUT!" Hermione screamed again.  
Harry couldn't move. He just kept staring at Ron and Hermione. They were NAKED. ON HIS PARENTS BED. Harry ran out of the house throwing the bag of apples at Ron's head.

"OW!" Ron yelled at his retreating back.  
He ran back to Wizard Food Yum.

The witch at the counter looked at him pityingly. "I know that face. Did you catch your friends having sex?"  
"YES!" Harry exclaimed. "THEY WERE NAKED!"  
She nodded sympathetically. "Well, here is a free pack of breathmints. Can you go outside if you're not going to buy anything? K. Bye!"

Harry nodded sadly and went outside. Soon he saw Ron and Hermione running towards him from the other end of the street.  
"GO BACK! YOU WERE NAKED!" Harry yelled across the street.   
Hermione looked hurt when she approached him.

"Harry, we're sorry! We just couldn't control ourselves!"  
"But-I bought you APPLES!" Harry said, desperately.  
"Well, you know, they hit me in the head," said Ron angrily rubbing his head.  
"Right, sorry," said Harry chuckling. He went to pat Ron on the back but then he remembered two seconds ago he was naked. He didn't. Instead he looked at his feet.  
"Don't be upset Harry!" Hermione said.  
"Didn't you HEAR us?" Ron asked.  
"Well, I thought you wanted food," Harry explained, shrugging.   
"Oh...well...uh...no."   
"What can we do to make it up to you?" Hermione asked.  
"Let me have sex with Ginny and then you walk in on me! WITH CELERY!" Harry said, trying to think of a way to get them back.  
"WHAT? NO!" Ron bellowed.  
"What will that solve?" Hermione asked, bewildered.  
"Um. I'd get celery."  
Harry looked at his shoes again. They were kind of ugly he realized. Why did he pick those out? Why was he even wearing shoes? Did he REALLY need them? But then his feet would be naked...and he didn't like naked things so much anymore.  
"I hope we're not going to be weird," Hermione said sounding anxious.  
"Sure...just warn me next time," Harry blurted out.  
"Warn you?" Hermione looked bewildered.  
"So, what? We have to tell you every time we boink?" Ron asked.   
"Oh...uh...maybe not," Harry said taking out his free breath mints.  
Harry gave Ron and Hermione some breath mints. They all ate them in silence. Harry had to keep reminding himself they were not naked, but fully clothed and just eating some breath mints with him outside of Wizard  
Food Yum.  
"I thought a monster attacked you," Harry said conversationally.   
"A monster?" Ron laughed. "What, a SEX MONSTER?"   
Hermione glared at him and they all fell into silence again.  
"You never know what type of monster could come," Harry said defensively after a few minutes. "Besides, the cookies obscured my vision!"  
"Let's just go back to the house and expl-I mean..erm...look...no, not look...go inside..no wait...well, you know..." Hermione said.  
They all headed back up the house. Harry remembered how happy he had been a few minutes ago. Now he wanted to push the couple in front of him so they both fell and mangled their faces on the cement. Then he would put his shoes on their heads and dance his NAKED FEET in front of their face. Let's see how they like that! Harry grinned as he thought of his evil plan. He couldn't bring himself to do it though. He just walked inside the house, directly to the kitchen. Nothing inappropriate about a kitchen. He looked in the fridge. There was some old celery. Harry gasped, had this been his father's celery? DID HE LIKE CELERY TOO? COULD IT BE? Harry suddenly felt cheerful again; something about the celery had assured him everything would be all right. Harry decided to go look for his celery he had dropped. He poked his head cautiously around the corner but Hermione and Ron were simply examining an old muggle television. He tip-toed past them and up the stairs again. He would just run in and get his celery. Nothing wrong with that. He crawled on the floor and let out a sigh of relief as he grabbed the green stalk.

"My favorite!" he said taking a big bite out of the celery.  
He looked longingly at Ron's cookies and Hermione's apples. They didn't really deserve to be eaten by people who did naked things. But how could he take them away without seeming mean? If he ate them now they would surely know he did it. Suddenly he got a bright idea!

"You are so brilliant," Harry told himself.  
He walked downstairs. They looked at him stiffly.

"Hi."   
"Hi," they said.  
"I am going to buy some more breath mints and a new pair of shoes!" Harry exclaimed proudly lifting a foot to show them his old ones.   
"That sounds like fun," Ron said.  
"How long will you be gone?" Hermione asked.

"Oh, an hour," Harry answered, still smiling.  
He walked out of the house with a little wave and then walked down the sidewalk simply for appearances. As soon as he was out of view he rushed back to the house quiet and discreet. He counted 3 to the right and found the room!

"AHA!" Harry cried triumphantly. He began climbing a tree branch-by-branch so he could enter the room from that window. If Ron and Hermione had seen he had left they could never blame their missing food on him. He would tell them a banshee or a gnome stole it.  
"Brilliant, brilliant, I am a force to be reckoned with," Harry thought, smugly.  
"If only Voldemort knew of my plans. He would surely be frightened away," Harry said thoughtfully.  
He considered stopping momentarily to write a quick letter to him. How intimidating he would seem! But the promise of cookies and apples right through that window was too tempting. He quickly hopped through. The apples were a bit bruised from Ron's head but Harry didn't care. He hungrily bit into them, dribbling apple juice down his shirt. As he stuffed some cookies into his mouth he examined his shoes once more. Would they notice he never ACTUALLY bought a new pair?  
He could tell them they were out of stock. A stroke of genius. Oh Harry Potter was a clever boy.  
He soon heard 2 pairs of feet clambering up the stairs. What was Harry to do? They must want their cookies and apples! Harry quickly stuffed them under his shirt and slid under the bed. He was too clever to be caught! Oh, if Voldemort saw him now. He was glad he had never sent the letter. Ron and Hermione burst open the door, kissing frantically and fell on the bed. Harry was shocked! They didn't want cookies or apples after all! Harry had to think of a way to stop this, and fast. He stuffed cookies in his ears to drown out their moans. He couldn't see much from under there, thankfully. Harry took an apple out of the bag and chanced a peek. THEY WERE NAKED AGAIN. Harry wanted to throw the apple at Ron's head but stopped himself. He could not be caught! It was hard for Harry to hear himself think amongst their constant yelling. They were a noisy bunch. Finally, even with all of the noise pollution, Harry Potter thought of something! He took off a piece of apple and rubbed it in cookie crumbs, which stuck to it unattractively. He wrinkled his nose in disgust at the specimen. How revolting! He flung the food out onto the couple on the bed. Hermione let out a scream and toppled onto the floor. Harry gaped at her. SHE WAS STILL NAKED. Hermione hurried up, luckily not seeing Harry.

"Oh Ron, what IS that?"  
Ron flung it across the room; it splattered against the wall with a sickening "SQAUUUUUSH".  
"You don't think it's from the SEX MONSTER?" Ron said breathing heavy.  
Hermione looked around frantically "Are they invisible?"  
"They must be! What else would explain this mystery?" Ron said, shaking his head.  
"What do we do? WHAT DO WE DO?" Hermione yelled running as far away from the splatter on the wall as possible.  
Ron hugged Hermione and looked angrily at the air. "DON'T YOU DARE BOTHER US!"  
Harry snickered under the bed. This was amusing; he looked up but hid his eyes quickly again. Naked. He got another cookie-crumb apple and threw it at Ron's face. Ron howled and scrubbed his face furiously until it fell on the bed.  
They ran from the room screaming. Harry dusted off his pants and chuckled heartily into the rest of his food. After finishing the rest he climbed down the tree and went back around front.  
"Hello, my lovely friends!" he said, opening the door.  
"I-WHAT?"   
There Hermione and Ron were, shaking on the couch, NAKED.  
"HARRY! YOU MUST FORGIVE US! WE WERE ATTACKED!" Hermione said, shielding herself with Ron.  
Ron looked terrified. "The sex monster exists! It throws stuff at you!"  
Harry angrily took off his shoes and threw them at the wall, exposing his NAKED FEET, "WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THESE?" he pointed at them.  
Ron and Hermione winced and looked the other way.

"Please, Harry. That's vulgar," Hermione pleaded.  
"WHAT IF I DO THIS? OR THIS?" he twisted his naked feet every which-way. They spun, they did twists, they tapped, and they EVEN JUMPED.  
Hermione fell on the floor crying, "STOP! PLEASE!"

Ron put his hands over her eyes. "Mate, please. You are upsetting her!"  
Harry took a blanket and wrapped them around his feet, he was beginning to calm down. He realized how foolish he looked.  
"I'm sorry. It's just...you're always naked," Harry mumbled.  
"Yes, well. I would appreciate it if you kept THAT to yourself," Ron growled.  
Harry slowly slid over to his shoes. He couldn't walk normally with the blanket wrapped around his feet. He put them on and sat haughtily on the couch, his backed turned to them.  
"We're sorry, Harry!" Hermione said hugging Harry from behind.   
Harry's eyes bulged out of his head. SHE WAS NAKED!  
"HERMIONE! NO! DO YOU WANT THE FEET AGAIN?" Harry threatened.  
She quickly jumped back. "Sorry, I forgot."  
"Just...I need to be left alone, ok?" he said staring at the wall.  
"Ok, but we can't go out because we're naked and our clothes are upstairs with the monster," Ron said.  
"Fine, go in the kitchen and STAY THERE." Harry ordered.

That is a product of me being awake at 4:00 in the morning. If for some peculiar reason any of you would like to read more of this monstrosity just review. I'm sure I can whip something up. I hope it brought some amusement into your lives.


End file.
